I know it's counter productive to say this but I have to say how I feel and today: I felt like a complete and utter dissapointment to myself. Tied for 4th heading into the day with an even par total of 144, I had the opportunity of playing in the final pairing. The attempt to chase the leader, fellow Filipino Art Arbole, was quickly halted right on the first hole when he holed a 30 yard bunker shot for birdie. At that point, he was at 7 under for the tournament while I struggled to 2 putt for par to remain even par for the tournament. In the front 9, I hit all but one fairway and hit every green only to shoot 1 over. One birdie and one 4 putt double bogey. As the round progressed, I slowly got more and more impatient about missed putts. After a birdie on 10, it was downhill from there as I missed pretty much every putt imaginable, especially during a bogey streak from holes 14-16. When I missed 3 putts in a row from inside 12 feet, include two more misses for birdie on the last two holes from 8 and 18 feet, resulted in a very unhappy Carl. I may have overexaggerated how I was feeling earlier. What may have contributed to it was that it was 3pm already by the time we finished and I hadn't had anything since breakfast. What also made me upset was that my playing partners who are good players, yes, I'll give 'em that, but they aren't better than me. And yet today, they dominated me. One shot 4 under, the other 1 under, and the other even par. Art Arbole sits with the lead at 7 under total while I'm a distant 10 shots behind.
As good as I'm playing right now, my best has been hiding somehwere. I'm really hoping to find that extra gear. Every day, I keep telling myself, today's the day, today's the day yet that day that I envision has yet to come. Golf is a game of petience and I guess some weeks just aren't meant to be. And as a golfer, no matter how much you want yourself to play well and no matter how much you think you deserve to play well, sometimes it's just out of your control and you have to accept that. In spite of all, I remain in the top 10, with a chance for probably not a win, but for a good finish once again by playing a solid final round. My main focus tomorrow will be to remain in a peaceful mindset throughout, something I have not been able to manage thus far this tournament. Looking at the big picture, life is good. I better look in the mirror and probably deserve to be smacked in the face for complaining too much when all our coaches and sponsors want is for us to play golf and give it our best. Alright, better outlook tomorow. We can do this!
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